I am not worthy of A's time. It would be a waste of time to apply to MIT because I'm not good enough to get in. Doubts of my worthiness cloud my judgement, holding me back. MIT (miraculously) accepted me. A has been proactively calling me recently. It is not up to me to decide that I am not good enough for MIT—it's MIT's decision. It is not up to me to decide that I am not good enough for A—it's A's decision.